Self-Reflection is vital to achieving any kind of personal growth. Without it, we have no idea where we are, how we got here, or the path going forward. Before you begin your journey, you need to have an idea of what you are trying to change. What is your goal? Your goal could be anything. A new career, a promotion, losing weight, becoming fit, saving money, becoming less critical, improving your love life, improving your relationships. Anything.

Once you have a goal in mind, you need to determine where you are in relation to your goal and how to position yourself for success. To accomplish this requires self-reflection. Self-reflection is performed in a quiet place with enough time to sort through your thoughts. This could take a few hours or a few days. Sometimes longer. Let's start off with something easy, a morning, afternoon or evening retreat. Find a quiet place where you will be uniterrupted. Your office or home may not be ideal. There are too many distractions there. You can get a room at a nearby hotel or office building relatively cheaply. Perhaps you could take a walk along a quiet path or beach.

Ideally, you will find a place where you will feel uninhibited to do what I am about to suggest. Turn off all electronics, except your IPOD if you choose to play some soothing music with no words. Then sit in a comfortable chair or on the floor with your legs crossed. Or, if walking, just start walking. I wouldn't recommend lying down, as sometimes the temptation to sleep may overwhelm you. Once seated, close your eyes and take a deep breath through your nose and exhale with your mouth. In - Out. Deep breaths. Listen to the air rushing  through your nasal passages, feel the air filling your lungs. Empty your mind. Do this for at least 3-4 minutes. Then ask yourself... where am I in relation to my goals. How did I get  here. Let your mind wander as it searches for clues or answers. When your mind begins to fill up, get up and journal what your remember.

You may write about past experiences or accomplishments. Perhaps there might be feelings. Whatever they are write them down. Once you have finished writing, start the process over again.

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A great place for self-reflection is something called a Labyrinth. My favorite is at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco.

To use a labyrinth, simply start where the path begins on the outer edge of the circle. Walk slowly, following the path. Try to clear your mind as best you can, and focus on whatever you are trying to solve. You are allowed to stop at anytime and just reflect. I often observe what is around me, looking for lessons that might jump out at me.

For those of you who are analytical in nature, join the club. I am very analytical but still find the labyrinth intriguing. There is so much about our minds and spirit that we don't understand. I don't know what kind of experiences you will have, but every time I have walked a labyrinth, I come away feeling rejuvenated and refreshed, often with fresh insight or inspiration in a problem that I was trying to solve.

For those of you who have a further interest in this, follow this link to The Labyrinth Society. They also have an interesting virtual labyrinth.

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Journaling is an important step in self-reflection. While some of you may be tempted to write this off, no pun intended, as something young girls do in their rooms at night, think again. When I was in the Navy, we kept a log of everything. Why? To ensure we kept records of what happened. It was a good thing to have when things went wrong, and right. We would often refer back to these records when we needed to look at causes behind an incident. On the other hand, it was also a good place to look for highlights to be included in an annual inspection or perhaps a newsletter.

If you are serious about personal growth, you must learn how to reflect on yourself. When you write your thoughts down in a journal, it is much easier to see patterns in your life, instead of just keeping your thoughts in your head, where they often play mind games with you. Something special happens when you put your thoughts to paper. 

There are many ways to approach journaling but here are some basic guidelines that will be helpful.

Purpose

You should have a purpose to your journaling. It could be a spiritual journey, a record of events, your thoughts on business or life. Whatever it is, you should be focusing on something. To write.... just to write... is a waste of time. You should have something in mind as you journal. For example, I keep two journals. One for my spiritual growth and one for business thoughts. My spiritual journal helps me to focus on my spiritual journey. I have a lot of questions about where I came from and where I am going. I also have a lot of thoughts on business and my journal in this area helps me to remember ideas that I come up. What worked. What didn't. Find a purpose for your journaling.

Approach

There are not many "shoulds" in journaling. We have enough pressure in our daily lives without adding more tasks or for you lapsed Catholics, more guilt. Journaling is supposed to be a help, not a hindrance. You don't have to journal everyday. You don't have to spend 30 minutes doing it. You don't need to write at least a page. You don't have to share it. No... there are not many rules here. There are a few things you should consider though and here they are.

• You get out what you put into it. While you don't need to journal everyday, if you only journal once a month, you won't get much results. Do what seems to work best for you. Try to do it at least 3 or 4 times a week.
• Journal where you can think for a bit. I usually do it at Starbucks or early in the morning before everyone else gets up. If I can I'll listen to some music that I enjoy. Something usually quiet, or reflective.
• Write in a book. I know.. computers are great. But, there is something special about writing it in a book. Go buy a nice leather bound journal for $10 and a nice pen to write with. You can treat yourself to that.
• CAUTION - Remember, someone could accidentally come across your journal. It is always a good practice to write with the understanding that one day it might become public information. If you have something you want to write down, but don't want to disclose it to anyone, write it down... then... rip it up and throw it away. It seems silly, but you'll remember writing it down and ripping it up for a long time.

Growth

The purpose of journaling it to help you grow. That means periodically going back over what you wrote. If you don't go back and read it, what's the point? On a schedule that makes sense to you, go back and read your journal. Look for patterns in your life that are both constructive and destructive. We all have these tendencies. Then, create a plan to make changes in your life that will help you realize the dreams and goals that you have.

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